Matt made me run faster today and I hated every minute of it. Of course he had to point out that if I could complain I obviously had enough breath left in me. He also pointed out that while I felt like I was racing, he proved I wasn’t going that fast since he could walk beside me at his normal pace.
But I realized that I should maybe complain less, since it would seem that people are starting to show concern about me with my blog posts; especially the Eastern Shore crying post. I’m not trying to make anyone worry or feel bad (and I’m not trying to paint my husband in a bad light, he’s a good guy), my posts are supposed to be the most honest account of the training possible and everything isn’t going to be pretty. I think the problem stems from the fact that so many articles about such training, for say a marathon, are these uplifting stories about people over coming cancer, running while on dialysis, racing for a dead friend. “My dad had Cancer.” “My Mom had cancer.” “I had cancer.” “My elephant had cancer.” It’s like they should have the theme song to “Iron Eagle” as a soundtrack. But my elephant didn’t have cancer. I’m just a girl whose husband signed her up for a race and decided to be her coach. I have a lot of people standing behind me rooting me on, but in the end it’s nothing more, nothing less.
Truth is, there were a couple of posts where I wasn’t sure I wanted people to know “that.” But I decided in the end to err with honesty. I cannot be the only person to go through what I am experiencing and acting perfect will just piss people off in the end. (Take note Gwyneth Paltrow [and I don’t even hate you, I think you’re just misunderstood]).
Look, you’re going to get the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly here. Maybe if I don’t get in trouble I can post a couple of uplifting songs. But don’t expect me to prove anything or show I’m capable of anything or be something I’m not. I can only take this one day at a time, one run at a time and hope for the best. If I have to make fun of myself in the meantime, so be it. I’m at least strong enough for that.