From Fab to Schlub in 10 seconds flat

Even though I had a rough patch getting out of the house this morning (and was an hour later on the road than I wanted to be) I had a fairly decent run. The tunes were good, the water bottle Elizabeth gave me was helpful and less obtrusive than I thought it would be, plus I oddly felt like I was a little faster than normal and kept up with that faster pace. Not a lot of people were running around 10 am so I was in my own little world all sorts of pleased with my progress. “Go Money, you got it. BooYah. Yeah, I got this.”

How I felt after being passed by supermodel runner.

And then I had the air sucked out of my balloon. Around the 3-mile mark I got smoked by some zero-percent body fat tall blonde that in an instant made me feel tortoise slow and schlubby. It was like I suddenly became 15-pounds heavier just by looking at her. There she went effortlessly zooming by in a teeny tiny little yellow sports bra and super short booty shorts that barely covered her ass cheeks, and nothing else. Here I am, in a baseball cap, a key lanyard around my neck, headphones, an MP3 player, a water bottle attached to my hand like Velcro and couldn’t possibly look any dorkier in comparison.

One, I know I’m not fast, and obviously people will be zooming by me in the race, but man, I’ve never had anyone run past me like that and not show a little effort with that kind of speed. Two, I’m well aware of the fact that there are better looking people out there than me, and generally I don’t get jealous of them but seriously, this is Baltimore, you just don’t see Supermodels running the waterfront. If nothing else, the lesson learned is to not run at 10 am so I never have to see her again.


About charmcityrants

Charm City Rants is written by Jeanne-Michele Vigna, a certified group fitness instructor, an avid traveler and seeker of knowledge, plus an expert of Eurovision and hot dogs. She lives in Baltimore with her husband and two cats. Plus, she obviously likes to complain.
This entry was posted in Baltimore, Baltimore Half-Marathon, Baltimore Running Festival, Running and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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