For the past month I feel like I’ve been in a fog. My dear sweet kitty Lydia past away suddenly last month and this past Wednesday she was joined by her older sister. The loss of two of my girls so close to each other has been devastating to say the least. The emptiness and quiet in the house is overwhelming at times. I keep thinking I see or hear them. Little things like realizing I don’t have to push a furry face out of my bowl of food while I eat makes me tear up.
I have eaten more take out then I share to admit, drank more than I share to admit and really haven’t been working out, at least I don’t think I have. It really has all been sort of a blur. Get up, go to work, come home, order Chinese or something and watch tv. Go to sleep and do it all over again.
Obviously, I can’t continue this cycle. My clothes and body are telling me as much. But admittedly, I feel like I’m starting to wake up out of the fog and feel like I’m ready to start fresh and get back at it, but until now that has been hard.
I know I’ve already written the “life getting in the way” posts, but looking back on those that seemed more like laziness and excuses than the legitimate fog I have been feeling. As I sit here, I’m sipping on a fresh smoothie ready to lace up and hit the gym and for once it feels good; real. It’s about time.